So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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