When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
