Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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