This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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