i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
