Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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