I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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