problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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