wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
