Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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