i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
