he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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