I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
