fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
