pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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