I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
