Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
