epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
