Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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