so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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