I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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