I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
