He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize