Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
