she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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