What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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