Already got asked if we're dating
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
