none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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