shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
sex in a hospital.. check
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
