I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just threw up on my dentist
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
