we have officially lost it.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
