When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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