She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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