I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
