Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
