Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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