A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
thus making me awesome and them whores
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize