What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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