So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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