Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
