Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
