Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
