i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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