overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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