never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
