nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
