On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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