You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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