By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
