Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
