the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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