remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
