I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
