White coat. Heels.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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