I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
