I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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