I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize