how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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