Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
