he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
