If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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