I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Houston, we have a squirter
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
